


Anxiety

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxious!Sirius, Caring!Remus, I haven't slept for two days, M/M, Marauders' Era, but I'm not even tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 13:05:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10854597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sirius has an anxiety attack, and Remus finds him.





	Anxiety

Sirius's hands were shaking, fingers cold with fear unable to be stilled. He was breathing unsteady breaths, short and sharp inhalations that required too much effort. His eyes were starting to glass over, tears holding on at the corners of his eyes. His headache was quickly worsening from the too many thoughts pounding on the walls of his skull. Sweat was collecting on his upper lip and his brow.

He pulled his fingers through his long mess of hair, letting them rip through any knots they caught on. He went back and tugged on the hair not too far from the roots. Pulling and twisting hard enough for it to hurt, but not enough to pull it all out like his mind was urging him to. He felt his nails digging into his palm around clumps of hair still tangled between his fingers.

Sirius vaguely felt his bare back growing cold against the stone wall, but he was in no state to drag himself away. He let his head fall back and softly hit the wall, hands dropping back into his lap. His eyes fell closed, which allowed hot tears to spill slowly down his face.

His lip trembled as he let out a painful sob. His breathing became faster and more erratic. He opened his eyes in sudden panic, and he darted his gaze around the room.

He looked for familiar things. Things to ground him.

Quidditch gear. Books. Empty firewhiskey bottles. Peter's black porcelain chess set. Half drunk tea. Remus's sweaters. Remus.

He almost skipped over him but his fiercely wandering eyes landed on Remus.

Remus looked mildly startled, not used to seeing Sirius in such a state lately. He'd thought Sirius's anxiety had improved after he'd left the Blacks' manor and moved in with James.

Blinking quickly, Remus realised he should do something. He approached Sirius slowly.

"Can I come closer?" He whispered, mostly expecting no answer. Sirius nodded as he sucked in a slightly strangled breath. "Can I touch you?"

"Please," Sirius rasped out.

Remus nodded and sat himself down beside Sirius. He wrapped one arm firmly around Sirius's shaking body, hand falling to rest on an almost too thin waist.

His other hand held both of Sirius's, his thumb rubbing circles Sirius's soft but calloused skin. Remus pressed a light kiss to Sirius's temple, then one further up into his hair. He turned his breathing louder, slower, a silent urge for Sirius to try matching their breaths.

Sirius's hands were steadier as he wiped his face, rubbing furiously at his eyes. Remus's fingers were around Sirius's in a second, pulling them away from his face.

"You shouldn't do that, Pads."

Sirius leant into Remus's side and stilled. His head was less foggy, cleared of the violent thoughts that all too often plagued his mind. He was breathing calmly, breathing in a faint smell that was just so _Remus_. He felt much safer in Remus's embrace. Sirius was all sharp and cool, but Remus was soft and warm and all the things Sirius needed.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Remus said after a while.

"Remus?"

"Mhm?"

"I was – uh. I was thinking too hard. There were so many thoughts and they wouldn't leave me alone; and I couldn't focus on anything. I was so scared, Remus."

"I wish I had been here, Pads. I'm sorry I wasn't."

"It's okay, Rem. I should have found you when it started to get bad. I should have _known_ it was getting bad. I'm so sorry, Remus."

"Sirius, its okay. You're okay now. You shouldn't have to find me. I should have been here," Remus said. "We're okay, now."

Sirius nodded, his cheek brushing the soft knit sweater Remus always seemed to be wearing.

"Can you tell me what you were thinking about?" Remus felt Sirius tense slightly. "You don't have to, I just–"

"No, no its okay. It's just… I think I'm in love you," Sirius whispered.

"But I'm–" Remus began, pausing at the slight pain of a hand tightening around his own. He sighed. "Okay, Sirius." He paused, taking a long breath in time with one of Sirius's. "I think I love you too, y'know."

"Really? Rem, don't just–"

Remus's lips were against Sirius's with a feather light pressure. Remus pulled back, leaning his forehead against Sirius's with a quiet chuckle.  

"Shut up, Pads."

"Mm… Mkay, Remus. Oh… I could get used to this…"

"Hey, Pads?"

"Yeah, Rem?"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Remus said, smirking at Sirius. He leant forward again, moving his lips softly against Sirius's, hand coming up to hold his jaw.

'Oh, I really could get used to this,' Sirius thought, attacking Remus with soft playful nips.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the quickest fic I've written and posted omg. I'm also running on two days without sleep so there's that  
> My tumblr (new and lacking followers) is starcrossedsuicides (same as on here) if y'all wanna hmu


End file.
